There are two types of people in this world… well, there’s actually more than two, but for the purpose of this blog, there are only two types of people in this world – the dreamers and the doers.
There are those who dream about making a difference, making it big, learning to ride a bike or playing a musical instrument.
Then there are those who actually make a difference, make it big and compete in the Tour de France while playing the cello.
I am somewhere in the middle. I can stare out the window and dream a little dream, but very seldom do I, like many uninspired people, actually turn it into reality.
But sometimes dreams are just illusions and should be left as such. When reality sets in, it doesn’t really play out the way you dreamt it.
Take my comedy “career” for example. I always dreamt of jumping on stage and making a crowd laugh. To me, that was the ultimate rush - putting creative thoughts together and making light of an everyday occurrence. So I actually tried it and saw that I was okay at it. But then, an amazing thing happened - the illusion wore off. There was so much crap to deal with behind the scenes that I was instantly turned off. The dream was dead and I was comfortable with that. I scratched the itch and moved on.
Believe me, there is nothing wrong with following your dream - whether it’s comedy, starting your own business or kicking off a music career. If you want do it, who are we to stop you?
However, you need to be realistic. I know a guy who’s been trying to make it as a musician for about 20 years now. All he has to show for it is a couple of CDs he can’t give away and a horribly directed video on YouTube. He’s over 40 and he’s still chasing that dream. But with all the love and respect in the world I say, move the fuck on, dude.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s awesome that he’s chasing his dream and what the hell do I know, maybe he’ll make it. Maybe he’ll be the next Moby (minus the talent). But seriously, after 20 years don’t you think you should see some return on your investment?
I don’t know. Call me old fashioned, but if you’re working on something for that long of time and it doesn’t put out, just walk away. Pfff – just ask my girlfriend from junior year.
Actors. Another great example. How many classes and auditions do most actors go through before they are cast in a major movie? Hundreds, I bet. Years of “scratching by” many times amount to nothing. They just go home with shattered dreams and an infection that can’t be treated with standard over-the-counter ointments.
So with all this in mind, I thought of a way to expedite the fulfillment of three dreams – that of a 20-year old co-ed drop out from Holy Cross, who wants to be the next great actress; that of a poor landscape technician with illegal documents who just wants to get paid so he can raise his nine children; and lastly, mine as a the next great writer.
Ah, America – where anything can happen.
Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the next masterpiece in the long line of Oye Martinez Productions: The adult feature film “Busted Pipes, the Movie.”
The film focuses on an out-of-work actor who makes ends meet by becoming a handy man. But one day, while doing an “odd” job, he catches the attention of a famous Adult Film Director. The rest, as they say in the business, is in the rear.
I hope you enjoy it.
(The script is a work in progress and I will include new installments in the coming weeks.)
Act 1 - Scene 1
Lonely Housewife: Who is it?
Han D. Sanchez: Does someone need their pipes cleaned?
Lonely Housewife: (Confused) I don't remember calling for a plumber?
Han D. Sanchez: Oh yeah? Well, is this 6969 Big Wood Lane? Is this the Cootersnatch residence?
Lonely Housewife: (Confused) Why, yes. Yes, it is.
Han. D. Sanchez: Well my log says you're a little backed up. And I need to bust a pipe.
(Cue the music: pow waka chow waka chow waka chow chow. pow waka chow waka chow waka chow chow)